


Yep It’s Just A Book Of One-Shots

by WizScooter



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-25
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-16 01:05:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17539754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WizScooter/pseuds/WizScooter
Summary: Various short stories I guess.





	1. The Classroom Diamonds

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this one way back in like August for Weekly Warp on Amino.

“Lesson one.” Steven announced. He had to speak loudly to be heard by Blue and Yellow. Even sitting in the sand, they both towered over him.

 

He continued, “Hurting other people is wrong. I know you’ve lived your whole lives on Homeworld, and this is all really different, but you need to understand this. Okay?”

 

Yellow Diamond raised an eyebrow. “Yes, but-“

 

Steven shot her a look. “What did I say about raising your hand?”

 

She sighed, reluctantly raising a arm.

 

“Yes?”

 

“There must be exceptions to this rule, of course.”

 

He frowned. “Yes. Can you name a time that you might need to hurt someone?”

 

“If they attacked first, obviously.”

 

Steven nodded, smiling. Maybe this wouldn’t be as difficult as he thought.

 

Then Yellow continued, “Or if they were to disobey an order.”

 

“What?”

 

“Or, I suppose, if they acted in any sort of treasonous manner.”

 

“No, no, no!” He exclaimed, waving his hands.

 

“Now, now, Pink.” Blue spoke.

 

“It’s Steven.”

 

She ignored him, continuing, “You, of all Gems, should know the worth of a strict punishment.”

 

“But-“ He began. “Wait, what do you mean by that?”

 

“Please, Pink.” Yellow spoke harshly. “Don’t think we haven’t noticed how many of your soldiers are missing. You clearly found a suitable punishment for the ones who didn’t meet your standards of imperfection.”

 

“My missing soldiers?” Steven retorted, “You mean the ones that were corrupted?”

 

“Corrupt- oh.” Yellow realized. She and Blue exchanged a look.

 

The boy sighed again. “Let’s move on to the next lesson for now.”

 

“Yes, let’s.” Blue agreed.

 

“Alright... Lesson two. Fusions should be treated with respect.”

 

“What?!”

 

“And be called by their names!”

 

“Names?!” Blue exclaimed, “Fusions don’t have names!”

 

“Yeah they do!” He exclaimed, “Just ask them!”

 

“Ask... them?” Blue said slowly, as if the very idea was unthinkable.

 

He nodded. “You know they can talk, right?”

 

Yellow grimaced. “Yes, your ‘friends’ certainly made that clear.”

 

“Oh, who’d you talk to?”

 

They stared at him blankly for a moment.

 

“Oh right, you don’t know their names. Um... Garnet and Opal don’t talk very much. Sugilite is benched. Did you meet Sardonyx?”

 

Yellow scoffed. “How many of these creatures are there?”

 

He glared back at her. “Don’t call them that! There’s tons of possible fusions.”

 

Blue narrowed her eyes. “You haven’t...?”

 

“Fused?” Steven finished for her. “Only a couple of times, but Mom fused with other people.”

 

Blue gasped, almost comically. “How dare you... taint your form-“

 

“Alright, time to move on!” Steven shouted, cutting her off. “Lesson three, uh, Pearls should be treated with respect, too!”

 

“Absolutely not.”


	2. Winter Wishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven spends winter with his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also written for Weekly Warp!

 

 

“Garnet!” Steven shouted, running down the stairs as fast as he could without falling. “Garnet!”

 

She was sitting on the couch, seemingly doing nothing. “You have something to ask me.”

 

“Um... yeah.” He said nervously. “Dad’s gonna come over today, and we’re doing some super fun wintery stuff!” There was that never ending enthusiasm, from someone untouched by any kind of grief.

 

“That’s nice.” She replied, when it was clear that he was waiting.

 

He nodded slowly. “Uh huh...do you want to do it with us?”

 

She was silent for a moment. “That sounds great.”

 

He grinned. “Really? Do you think Pearl and Amethyst wanna join us?”

 

“Hmm... they’re busy today.” They weren’t really, but she doubted that either of them could handle spending too much time around Greg. 11 years was plenty of time for a human to find forgiveness, but to a Gem it was barely seconds.

 

“Ok! Maybe some other time?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

 

“Who’s ready to get this party on?!” Greg burst through the door, his flushed face barely visible over the boxes piled in his arms.

 

“Me!” Steven exclaimed, “And Garnet too, right?” He turned to her for affirmation.

 

She offered a single thumbs up from her spot on the couch.

 

“Oh, hey there.” Greg said, finally noticing her. “Are you...”

 

“Steven invited me.”

 

“Yep!” The boy looked a bit nervous, again. “Is that okay?”

 

“Uh, of course! The more the merrier, right?” He grinned at them. “I brought all the essentials.” He set the boxes down and began to look through one of them. “Let’s see here. Hot chocolate, marshmallows, some firewood, that weird old cookbook... oh!” He pulled out a small box, covered in red paper with a bow on the top. “A little something for my favorite son.”

 

Steven gasped. “For me?” He reached for it, but his dad pulled it just out of his reach.

 

“Not so fast, Sctuball. We have to set the mooooooood.” He stretched the last word out, making a gesture with his free hand.

 

“Oh yeah! The moooood.” Steven copied the movement without hesitation.

 

Greg chuckled. “How ‘bout I get a fire going, and we can make some good old fashioned s’mores?”

 

Steven frowned. “Amethyst ate all the graham crackers yesterday.”

 

“Amethyst likes graham crackers?”

 

“She dips them into motor oil. I tried to tell her that we need them, but I don’t think she really gets it.”

 

“Oh.” Greg looked a bit awkward for a moment.

 

“Wait, I have an idea!” Steven suddenly exclaimed. “We can make cookies, and then make s’mores with that!”

 

Greg perked up. “That’s a great idea.”

 

He gasped. “We could even call them... Cookmores!” He announced with a grin.

 

“S’morkies!” Greg chimed in.

 

“Co’s’morkeries.” Garnet said, with her usual deadpan expression.

 

They looked over at her. Neither of them were quite sure where the “er” came from, but then again, Co’s’morkeries don’t have to make sense.

 

“I’ll find the stuff to make them!” Steven said, running to the kitchen.

 

“Sounds like a plan. Hey, mind grabbing the firewood?” He asked Garnet. “I better get some tinders burning.”

 

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

 

Within no time, they had a fire going strong. Steven had found a sugar cookie recipe in the cookbook, and there was an assortment of ingredients and tools laid out across the counter. The oven was started, and the three were gathered around in the kitchen.

 

“Um, it says we gotta keep the dry stuff and the wet stuff away from each other.” Steven told them, squinting at the cookbook.

 

“Got it.” Greg set the eggs, butter, vanilla, and oil to his right, and the flour, sugar, and baking soda to his left. “What’s next, bud?”

 

“Mix them together. Don’t let them touch, Dad!”

 

“Okey dokey. You take the dry stuff, I’ll take the others.”

 

Steven nodded. “Got it! Garnet, can you please help me?”

 

She nodded. “Tell me what I can do.”

 

“Well, I wanna try the mixing...” He thought for a moment. “Oh! Can you measure?”

 

“Alright.”

 

“Great! Thank you!” He looked back to the cookbook, set between son and father. “First we need two cups of flour. Hmm... it doesn’t say what kind of cup.” He wandered over to the cupboard, pulling out a small drinking glass. “I guess this works.”

 

Garnet took it, scooping out the two cups they needed. “See what comes next.”

 

“Um... a cup of sugar.” He looked at the flour-dusted cup sitting on the countertop. “I guess we can use the same one.”

 

He reached for it, but Garnet held out a hand. “Wait. We need a bigger cup.”

 

“Really?”

 

She nodded. “Sugar cookies need to be mostly sugar.”

 

“Oh yeah!” He exclaimed, running back over to the cupboard. “How’s this?” He asked, brandishing a large measuring cup.

 

“Bigger.”

 

“Uh... how ‘bout this?” He pulled down the blender. “It’s the biggest cup I own!”

 

“Perfect.”

 

The blender didn’t fit inside the bag of sugar, so she had to resort to pouring it in instead. The bag was mostly empty when they got all they needed, but that was fine.

 

“Great! Now we just need a teaspoon of baking soda!” He frowned. “Do you think root beer would work?”

 

Garnet shrugged.

 

“Worth a shot, I guess!” He exclaimed. Luckily, Amethyst hadn’t eaten the last can of soda yet. He grabbed it, and a small spoon. “Here ya go!”

 

She took them, making sure to pour the soda carefully.

 

“We got everything! Time to mix!” Steven sunk his arms into the bowl, moving them around to try and get it mixed together.

 

“Hey Schtu-ball, you two almost done?” Greg asked, carrying his bowl over.

 

“Almost!”

 

“Huh.” He said upon seeing Steven. “That’s an interesting way to mix.”

 

“Thank you!” He exclaimed, pulling his arms out. He shook them off, sending flying what was mostly sugar.

 

“Great job you guys. Why don’t I get this finished up and in the oven while you get some blankets set up by the fire?”

 

“Okey dokey!” Steven skipped into the living room with a smile shining on his face. “I can’t wait to taste them!”

 

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️

 

Greg sunk further into his blanket. “Where did I go wrong?” He was sitting with his back facing the mess in the kitchen. Half eaten blobs of dough were scattered across the baking sheets, and the whole house still smelled.

 

“It’s okay Dad.” Steven tried to comfort him. “Everyone makes mistakes.”

 

“That soda was probably rotten.” Garnet chimed in.

 

“But hey!” The boy exclaimed. “We still have marshmallows!”

 

“Good point.” Greg smiled at him. “Hey Garnet, you ever toasted a marshmallow?”

 

“You could say that.”

 

“You wanna do one?” Steven asked.

 

“Not really.”

 

“Oh, okay. More for us!” He stabbed his stick into several marshmallows, then shoved them straight into the fire. They immediately burst into flames. “I dunno why I thought that would work.”

 

“Here, I’ll do one for you.” Greg offered.

 

“Nah, I can eat them plain.” Steven grabbed another handful, stuffing them in his mouth. “Ish duhluhshous!” He swallowed, holding out a marshmallow to Garnet. “Try one!”

 

She popped it in her mouth, not bothering to chew. “S’ good.”

 

He grinned. “See? The Cooks’morerie things might not have worked out, but we’re still having some quality fun time! Right guys?”

 

They nodded, both wearing similar smiles.

 

“Oh!” Greg exclaimed suddenly. “I almost forgot!” He pulled out the wrapped package from earlier, holding it out to Steven.

 

“Oh yeah!” He grabbed it eagerly, tearing the paper off without a second thought. Inside was a blue and white book titled “How to Talk to People”.

 

“You know, I just thought it’d come in handy.” Greg said sheepishly. “I always had trouble at your age, and someday there’ll be someone special in the picture, and-“

 

“I love it!” Steven interrupted. “It’s great, Dad! Aw man, now I feel bad that I didn’t get anything for you.”

 

“Oh, it’s okay, Schtu-ball.” He replied. “I’m just glad I get to spend time with you.”

 

Steven looked up at him and Garnet. “Yeah. I love you guys both.” He smiled. “Maybe next year everyone will be able to be here!”

 

Garnet ruffled his hair. “Maybe.”

 

Greg smiled back at him. “I guess we’ll have to see. I mean, who knows what could happen in the next couple years?”

 

“Hopefully only good stuff.” Steven laughed.

 

“Hopefully.”


	3. They’re both idiots in their own ways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s the first day of February Amedot week! The prompt today was Valentine’s Day.
> 
> I kinda forgot about this, though, so enjoy this last-minute piece.
> 
> *cough* It’s actually a day late in most time zones but shhhhhhhh

Peridot warped into the Kindergarten, a small box in her hands. “Amethyst?” She called out.

“Yeah?” A dozen voices called out at once. Looking down over the edge of the canyon, she saw the Quartzes gathered around.

One of them in particular grinned up at Peridot. “Hey P-dot! Is there another mission?”

“Not that I’ve been informed of.”

“So what’s up?” She asked. “Just come to see me?”

Peridot grinned. “In fact, I had something to give to you.” She held out the wrapped box.

“Nice!” Amethyst grabbed it, tearing the paper off to reveal a small, heart-shaped container. “Another box! Man, thanks!”

Peridot nodded. “Steven said that it would make an appropriate gift.”

“Yeah, nice!” She grinned. “What’s this for?”

“Em, the Valentine day?” She frowned. “I wasn’t quite sure-“

“Crap.”

“-what that meant... Amethyst?”

Amethyst chuckled nervously. “You know what, Peri? I, uh, left your gift at home. I’ll be back in a sec.”

“Okay.” Peridot replied, but Amethyst was already running back up to the Warp Pad.

“What was that about?” Another Amethyst asked her.

Peridot shrugged. “It’s such a strange coincidence that she has a gift for me as well.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever.”


End file.
